Today’s Assignment: publish a post you’d like your ideal audience member to read, and include a new-to-you element in it.

Once during pregnany a lady asked if it was my first child. I replied, No my third. She then went on to say that the mddle child is always left out, misses out, the parent never has time. I was distraught and vowed this would never happen.  My middle child, My Son.

I won’t lie, todays assignement is hard!

I never started out to attract a target audience, I did this for me! Maybe to prove that I could, maybe because I needed a distraction from whats really going on in my life.

This is new to me, to be able to share with an audience that I do not call ‘face to face friends’.

I have troubled over the last three years with my son with differend deallings in and out of school.  Elements to me that I found hard.  Elements that put strain on my family life.  The tear of a mothers love but the need as a wife to stay a unit, knowing deap inside that my son will eventually leave me and where would I be then; alone!

We never think as we hold our new born child in our arms of the heartache they may one day bring.  I never thought this, I always imagined our closeness always staying, nobody ever coming between us.  But it changed, it became ‘strained’, we grew apart. The conversations dried up.

The endless phonecalls from the school, the detentions, suspensions. the upset listening to them tallking about a child you don’t recognise.

Maybe I got it wrong as a parent as my child grew up.  Will I ever know!  He’s left me now to make his way in this big bad world, Living in accomodation with others who cannot stand to be near their parents.

I dont think I helped when the police phoned to say he’d been arrested for dealing drugs.  I lost control and packed his bags, cleared his room and told his father he needed to step up.  He did, but my son didnt want that.  He left!!!

It’s his birthday this week, he’ll be 17… he doesn’t talk with me, ignores my calls, my texts.  Walks away if he sees me coming in the street.

I don’t look for pity as I brought this on myself, I should have kept him close?  Maybe one day he’ll come back to me……..

 

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